German Engineers Can Sure Make You Feel Fat!

Today I went to Six Flags with my roommate and had a lot of body issues paraded before me. To begin with, there are all the half naked women (why is it never the men?) walking around. Pre-teens with skinny legs and knobby knees, old women with veiny feet jammed into sandals that were stylish about a decade ago, and a few who were so large and clad in clingy fabrics I felt a certain amount of smugness that I am not that bad.

I know, I'm a horrible human being for thinking that (but at least I'm honest). I'll admit that typically when I enter a room I assess it to see if I'm the fattest person in the room. I feel terrible when I am and breathe a sigh of relief when I am not. Yes, that is a very stupid thing to hang your self-esteem on, but knowing what's right and acting upon that are two different things. This is the very reason I'm overweight in the first place, correct?

So, anyway, back to these fucking sadistic engineers. . . I noticed signs for some of the rides today warning that "guests of unique body proportions" may have a difficult time riding. One or two even had a sample seat at the ride's entrance for patrons to try out ahead of time. I'd hate to have to do that, but then again I remember several years back standing in line for a roller coaster and watching it get stopped on the first ascent while they pulled a lady off because she was too large for the lap bar to close properly which tripped a safety alarm. She had to walk back down while everyone watched.

I must say I saw some who appeared quite larger than myself on rides today, but I was really wedged into a few of them. Sometimes it is just an issue of big thighs and long legs not getting enough room, but in other cases I think a few more pounds would start to create embarrassing issues. Not that I think the entire world can accommodate everyone, but it is shocking to know that there are some things that are off limits due to the size of your body.

I'm sorry, sir, but you can't be a lawyer, because you are a convicted felon.
Okay.

Regretfully, you cannot become a bus driver, because you failed a drug test.
Thank you.

No, ma'am, you can't sit on a piece of speeding machinery in order to induce high levels of adrenaline and screaming, because your ass is too wide.
Go figure.