Stalled Workouts

I was supposed to work out the day before Thanksgiving, but had so much to do I never made it. Then they were closed on the holiday. Then I worked my ass off (I wish it really worked that way!) on Black Friday at my retail job. And then on Saturday I mysteriously injured my right knee and spent the later half of the day limping around. Sunday it felt 50% better and it is just now today that I think I can handle the treadmill (but definitely not the elliptical). I don't have time set aside today for the gym, though, but if I don't I'm going to be SO ticked off at myself. It'll be the "I quit" cycle starting all over again.

I will get to the gym. I swear it.

Enemy in My Own House

My roommate is trying to sabotage me. Not intentionally, of course, but over the past week of Thanksgiving she's whipped up a full holiday spread and three pies. Not one bit of it was health conscious! Butter and fat drippings and sugar and so on and so forth.

This isn't the first time I've mentioned to her that her ways are bad for me. When she brings chips or sweets into the house, I scoff, "Great, just what we need".

Yesterday when we were hungry at 4:30pm, but had dinner plans for 6pm, I suggested an apple or handful of nuts. But she declined and said it was okay. I warned about letting the hunger get too extreme and then we'd overeat, but she said it wasn't a big deal. So we met our friend at 6pm for dinner, split an appetizer and cleaned our plates. Normally we skip the appetizer and just eat about 3/4 of the meal saving the rest as leftovers.

Now my roommate is not on a "get healthy kick". She has about the same amount of weight to lose as I do, but she's declined every offer of mine to include her. Honestly, I'm not even trying to help her out; I'm being selfish and trying to help myself out. It would be a tremendous help if she'd be my gym buddy or start cooking better foods or take a walk with me in the evenings. But she says the $10/mo for the gym membership is just too much to handle right now and her fatty meals are still better than eating out because there aren't preservatives and she's just too tired to walk after work or school.

We were grocery shopping and I was looking at the NuVal scores to make some of my decisions. I never knew how bad my cereal choices were and I try to avoid what I think are the super sugary ones, but I was seriously misinformed. And when it came time for bread my usual wheat selection turned out to be rated really low, but I found another whole wheat that rated a 43 (the best score on the whole shelf!). I discussed all this with her so she knew why I was picking different items. The following day she went out to purchase a loaf of white bread (with a NuVal of 4!) because she "grew up with white bread sandwiches".

I know I probably sound petty bitching about this stuff, but it isn't just the bread. It's the ice cream in the freezer, the Pop Tarts in the cupboard, the cookies, crackers, and chips on top of the fridge, and the chocolate peanut butter on the counter. Don't even get me started on the bacon, egg, sausage, and cheese breakfasts!

I don't need this. I need support! My whole idea is to make small changes that start adding up then medium changes that result in some real progress. But I'm finding small changes difficult to do without someone saying, "You're right. Let's do it this way for a change and see how we feel."

If nobody is around to see you stuff your face. . .

. . . does it still count?

Yes. Yes. Sadly yes.

You'll notice that I didn't finish my food log from Friday (and now I can't remember what I ate) and that I didn't post all weekend. I'm not really home on the weekends as I spend most of it hanging with my man. Ok, that may sound really clingy, but it really isn't. We run errands together and watch movies and we don't always see each other during the week. Unfortunately, this weekend we ate at a buffet one day and had bacon and eggs and grits another.

When I mentioned how awful some of our choices were and that we weren't supposed to be doing these things anymore, he replied with, "I'm going more of the Weight Watchers route."
"Which is what?" I asked.
"Good during the week and a little more lenient on the weekends."

Hmmmmm. . . I'm not sure I can hang with that. Because my first "lenient weekend" also included a Twinkie and a piece of chocolate and a slice of cheesecake (at the buffet) and tons of soft drinks and no exercise whatsoever.

I'm horrible at listing everything I've eaten in a day and I'm wondering if I can be good over the weekends if my man is being a little less good. (Sigh)

I've also been thinking about my meat consumption. In reading about what a portion size of meat is (ex: the same size as a deck of cards or the palm of your hand), I've realized I seriously overeat when it comes to meat. I'd say on average, my daily consumption is about 1 - 1.5 pounds of meat.

Holy red meat, Batman! That's about three to five times more than the recommended daily allowance. And even worse than that is if I quit eating all that meat then I have to replace it with fruits and veggies! Noooooooooooooooooo!

I'll be hitting the gym today.

But Who's Really Counting?

Today's food thus far:

1 banana
1 bowl of maple and brown sugar oatmeal - 200 calories
3/4 cup dry Honey Nut Cheerios - 110 calories


I'm not really counting calories because I'll drive myself nuts trying to look everything up - I know, I've tried it before. I list the calories only if I know it. I only know the caloric content when I'm trying to decide between two different things. My hope is that I'll figure out what things are horrible for me that I've been thinking aren't so bad all along.

Exercise:
Burned just over 300 calories with cardio on the treadmill (Alpine Pass program again) and the Precor thingy (I don't really know what the machine is called - it is a circular running-ish type of movement).

Did the 30 minute circuit of weight machines - 15 reps of each exercise.

10 crunches in each position (legs straight, legs bent, ankles crossed). I couldn't do any more than 10 and I forgot to do legs in the air position.

I felt like I could get back on the treadmill and walk for a bit more calorie burning, but I also don't want to make myself so sore that I don't go back.

Are the Weight Machines Edible?

Why am I absolutely ravenous every time I walk out of the gym? I've tried carrying along an apple or banana to eat afterwards and it helps, but I'm still rummaging through the cabinets as soon as I get home. This weekend I'm going to try to put together a list of healthier snacks that I can have on hand or make easily for those gotta-have-it times.

I was reading someone else's blog and they mentioned that type of hunger where you'll eat about anything. You know the kind. . . when all of a sudden you go from "Sure, I could eat" to "Feed me anything right now or I'm going to start eating you!" Oh, I've SO been there. Now this is separate from the hungry after working out thing. This is the time when hunger turns me into a raving bitch. Anyway, this other blog mentioned that it was a blood sugar thing. Really? Is that what is going on? I don't really know anything about blood sugar spikes and crashes so it may be something about which I should do a little reading.

Polishing off the HoHo's

Today was not a good day. I planned to do a yoga DVD I have at home instead of the gym, but never got around to either. The kid had a half day of school (how exactly does 2 hours and 45 minutes count as a half day??). Initially, I thought about taking him to the park to run off some energy. I was hoping that I'd get a little exercise and he'd be too pooped to stay up late. (Lately he's been unable to get to sleep until about an hour passed his scheduled bedtime and then he's really tired - and looks it - in the morning). Well the park didn't happen either.

I completely crashed! I had a sweet craving and ate a HoHo. It wasn't satisfying, because at the rate I inhaled it I could barely taste the darn thing! So I ate another. Then looked at the box which quoted a serving size as 3 HoHo's. Weeeeeeelllll, there was only one more left in the box so I might as well (said the evil one on my shoulder). And there you have it: 340 calories of HoHo's in less than 5 minutes. I was kind of pissed at myself for being so weak and then I was so insanely tired that I napped rather than going to the park. The kid played computer games while I did this. Definitely NOT Mother of the Year material today.

Today's Food:
1 banana

1 Sloppy Joe sandwich on too much Italian bread.

1 package of Oriental Ramen noodle (for the record, I only use 1/2 the seasoning packet to cut the sodium and because it tastes just fine that way - but why do they quote a serving size as 1/2 a block of noodles? Who is only going to cook 1/2 the package? That's madness!)

5 Mozzerella Cheese Sticks - the nasty fried kind from Denny's. My roommate ended up not getting me that bagel last night. She brought these home instead. I ate only 2 trying to be good, but then succumbed to the rest throughout the day.

About 8oz of Root Beer

Grilled cheese and meatloaf sandwich - trying to finish off some leftovers.

Day One

Exercise: Treadmill
10 minutes of walking, then used the Alpine Pass program for 45 min. (max speed: 3.5, max incline: 4.0)

I initially set it for a speed of 4.0, but that was too fast of a walk to maintain without fearing that I'd fall off the treadmill. (Wouldn't that be a sight?) In the future if I go above 3.5, I'd might as well kick it up over 4 which would be a slight jog. I don't think I can jog at this point for more than 20 seconds.

*Starving after my time at the gym!*

Food: 3 pork sausage patties, about 600 calories total. Unfortunately they were Buy One, Get Two Free so I have a lot to eat up! This is how being poor screws you up.
1/2 an orange
1/2 cup of apple sauce
1 cup of macaroni and cheese
1 inch slab of Turkey meatloaf
1/2 cup of cheesy potato casserole
1/2 cup of butternut squash
1 banana
3 fish sticks


And my friend is bringing me a Cinnamon Crunch Bagel w/ cream cheese from Panera Bread tonight. I can't say no to that. I even looked it up and the bagel is 430 calories + 100 for the cream cheese. Dammit, but I love them and I rarely get them. (Whine, whine).

Partner in Crime

Today was the first day back in the gym AGAIN. Yes, I am starting over yet again. But this time it wasn't even my idea. For the past 2 weeks I've said, "I need to get back to the gym!" But each day passed and not one attempt was made, because I let everything else get in the way.

Last night my guy looked at me and said, "I'm going to get in shape and look hot and I don't think you want me to do it without you." Holy crap.

We've only been dating less than 2 weeks, but we've been friends for over a year and a half. He's a big guy, but not in a disgusting way. I like him and spending time with him, he's cute, and he's never made me feel fat. In fact, we've never talked about weight at all. Ever.

But last night he threw down the gauntlet. There are things we both want to change: our unhealthy lifestyle, our finances (stick to a budget, find fun money, etc), and we want to, as Ghandi put it, be the change we want in the world. In his eyes a competition between us in terms of getting healthy is the way to go. Maybe he's right; I really don't know. All I know is that I don't care what it takes to motivate me, I just NEED some help.

At the very least, since we have the same goals the next time one of us says, "I'm broke, hungry, and don't feel like cooking. Buffet?" The other person won't automatically say, "Yes, let's go!"
Hopefully, that will count for something.