Satan Made Me Do It!

I found this on the net, titled "The Genesis Diet"

And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said, "Super-size them." And Man gained pounds.

And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.

And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth chocolate, nuts and brightly colored candies to put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.

And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."

And Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert. And woman gained more pounds.

And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."

And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.

And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.

And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and EPSN2. And Man gained pounds.

And God said, "You're running up the score, Satan."
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.

And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol. And Satan saw and said, "It is good." And Man went into cardiac arrest.

And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

And Satan created HMOs.

Food Log: D6

Footlong Grilled Chicken breast sub from Subway (w/ three slices of tomato, lettuce, and mayo).
1/2 a package of bologna (the really bad for you cheap kind)
3 sticks of string cheese (they were taunting me late at night)
Bowl of Alphabits cereal
1 1/2 Dr. Peppers (fountain soda - I'm weak I know it)
3 handfuls of bitesize Twizzlers

I found this on a blog titled Style Matters(TM) (really, this is trademarked? Whatever.) which is written from Denver. I'm not including a link because I don't actually want to promote the site. Here goes:

"To me, Beyonce and Jessica Simpson are both chunky, not what’s expected of sex-symbol stars. They are both probably in better shape than most of us, but I wouldn’t want their thighs. Honestly, would you? (At this point I'm going to pause in the story to respond with, "Fuck yeah, I'd love to have a figure like either one of them, bitch!) The press seems to attack Jessica more than Beyonce. I’ve heard that African American women worry about their hair and white women about their thighs. Maybe that’s why there is more emphasis on Jessica. (Can someone explain this to me? Exactly what conclusions are being drawn here?) Whatever you think of their bodies, we wouldn’t be having this conversation if they were men, think of Ruben Studdard". (Well, isn't that the truth!)

These were not the two pics included of the aforementioned stars, however these did pop up elsewhere as "fat examples" of the two ladies. Anyone who thinks this is fat needs to have their head examined!

Food Log: D5

Bowl of Raisen Bran
1 fried egg and piece of toast
Footlong turkey sub from Subway (w/ two tomato slices, lettuce, and mayo)
2 packages of Stroganoff

Food Log: D4

Chinese take-out (Sweet and sour chicken, white rice, and crab rangoon)
Bowl of Raisen Bran
Leftover handburger patty
Mountain Dew

I can't remember what else!

Ban the Muffin Top

Skinny women, fat women, and in-between women all seem to fall prey to the Muffin Top phenomenon at alarming rates. With my most recent weight gain I am starting to sport one myself and that cannot happen!

Down with MT!

So here's the question to the woman on the left: Doesn't that hurt?? I know that my pants have gotten quite tight and it feels absolutely unbearable to me. And to the woman on the right: Do you not feel the breeze or see the marks of the waistband on your skin when you disrobe? Do either of these things not clue you in?

In my opinion, there is nothing worse than a person who makes them self look fat when they really aren't. Trust me, sister, it isn't a club you wanna belong to.

Peace out.

Food Log: D3

2 bowls of oatmeal
1/2 a Dr. Pepper (I just craved the taste of it)
1 slice of leftover buffalo chicken pizza
single serving of vanilla ice cream (hey, at least I didn't buy a whole carton!)
Bowl of Raisen Bran cereal
Bowl of Corned Beef (I've never had corned beef before, but it tastes pretty fatty and salty to me so I'm sure it is evil for you.)
Turkey sandwich - lettuce, two tomato slices (don't really like them) and mayo (not as much as usual, but my "usual" is extra, extra)

Food Log: D2

Bowl of cereal - Alphabits
Macaroni and Cheese (box -with way too much butter as always)
Pretzel bites, cheese dip, and medium soda at the mall (boo!)
Chicken alfredo leftovers
Tons of apple juice

Starting with the Numbers

Granted this is all very generalized info, I was just curious where I'm starting from. According to a particular website my BMI is 32.9 and I burn 2,392 calories at my current weight. I have no idea what I typically consume, but just for grins I might total it up one day soon just to know what my starting point is. But other than that I really hate this whole game of numbers. So I'm still sticking with the basic premise of eat better and move more.

Food Log: D1

Mountain Dew
2 Cheeseburgers (homemade, not fast food)
Macaroni and Cheese
3 bites of Chicken and broccoli Alfredo
3 pieces of homemade (by a friend) pizza

The Doctor's Scale

I don't even know what to say. I fell off the wagon then thought I was getting back on, but never got around to posting again and then everything just fell by the wayside. I have no excuses and so here I am months later starting all over again.

A couple weeks ago I found myself in the doctor's office and, of course, they saw fit to weigh me.

222 lbs.

The nurse said, "Oh, don't worry we knock a few pounds off to account for the clothing you are wearing." Riiight, because that makes it all better, doesn't it? This is officially the heaviest I have ever been. I call 195 lbs. my "floor weight" - meaning that the last time I tried to loose weight, I couldn't break that 195 barrier. A male friend of mine who uses his lunch hour to work out at the gym said he was told he could lose 50lbs by the end of August (gaining 10-15 lbs of muscle) with his current regimen. Damn, why don't I have an employer with a health club on the premises?

Anyway, he's one of my best friends and while we don't discuss weight issues (our convo was a one time thing), I can't let him get all fit and leave me in Fatsville.

I actually feel a little despondent saying, "Maybe this time I'll stick with it." Who knows. It is what it is.